June 4, 2007

Current events

From Ironic Times:

The TV station whose license was not renewed by Hugo Chavez, causing protests around the world:
A )has won international journalism awards for its even-handed coverage of politics in Venezuela.
B )is widely respected for in-depth reporting of current events affecting citizens of the Lost City of Atlantis.
C )preempted regular programs for two days prior to the coup attempt against the democratically elected government in 2002 in order to broadcast wall-to-wall calls for Chavez to be removed, refused to show thousands of his supporters who poured into the streets to demand his return, and sent its owner to pledge support for the coup-installed dictator who had eliminated the Supreme Court, the National Assembly and the Constitution.
Hint: that guy Chavez sure can bear a grudge.

The U.S. government is exerting enormous pressure on the Iraqi parliament to pass a law regarding the disposition of the nation’s oil riches which would:
A )fairly distribute the wealth between Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds living in different regions.
B )even-handedly apportion the windfall among competing interests located on Mars, Pluto and Venus.
C )Give 81% of Iraqi oil to multi-national oil companies.
Hint: our invasion was originally code-named Operation Iraqi Liberation.

We erred in ascribing the term "enhanced interrogation" to the Bush Administration. In fact the term was originally used to describe interrogation methods used against insurgents and other civilians by the Nazis in 1942, and later judged to be war crimes. The techniques, and the arguments to justify their use, however, were the same as those used by the Bush Administration. We apologize for any confusion caused by our mistake.