June 2, 2021

Important message from the boss re COVID-19

Passing on this message from our betters, who know what’s best for us:

OK, we admit that it may have escaped from the coronavirus lab in Wuhan. In fact, that’s why we were so concerned, because we knew that the lab in question alters natural viruses to make them more infectious and more virulent “for research purposes” (because that’s exactly what we pay them to do). So please forgive us for not being forthright and causing even more panic as we shut down your lives until we were sure it was OK. Oh yeah, and then to get rid of Trump! And to scapegoat as anti-science, white supremacist even!, those who insisted on any sense of perspective other than the one they were being sold (cf gleichschaltung).

So you see, we had no choice but to manufacture the appearance of a deadly pandemic like no other in history, because we knew that it might happen. And then when it didn’t, when the hospitals weren’t overwhelmed at all, well, it looked like it would not only get rid of Trump and his antiglobalist hordes, but also allow us to install any mannequin we wanted to further protect and strengthen our control. So it had to continue. And as a bonus, now you’re ready for whatever “pandemic” we come up with in the future: scared into getting your annual covid jab just like for the flu, ready to mask up and shut down, and to shame and shun the skeptics. So to continue to stay safe, and unless you want to be branded (literally, as you’ll see; you’ll be branded, too, of course, but to grant rather than deny you privileges) as one of those antisocial Trump-worshipping white supremacist science-haters, we trust you will continue to ignore (as you have commendably done for more than a year now):

  • the ostracizing of physicians who successfully prevented illness and treated those who got sick,
  • the redefinition of “case” to include perfectly healthy people who
  • tested positive for coronavirus-2019 in PCR tests using cycle numbers way above the recommended, guaranteeing false positives,
  • with that defining “covid hospitalization” as well and
  • “covid death”, including any cause in a person who had one of those likely false positive test results within the preceding 4 weeks (because we paid extra for "covid hospitalizations and death"), and
  • (now that we continued to turn what was supposed to have been a crisis into opportunity by forcing (or rather enticing, if you ever want to be free again, which, frankly, most actually don’t, and hah, too late! but again, you don’t want to be mistaken for a Trumposaur so line right up – don’t stand out!), um, coercing 100s of millions of people to “willingly” enroll in trials of never-before-used DNA and mRNA vaccines) the redefining of “herd immunity” as attainable only via vaccines, even for a virus that turned out not to be all that virulent in the overwhelming majority of people (and to be treatable with cheap generic drugs (hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin), not to mention largely manageable by keeping your vitamin D₃ and zinc levels up), and
  • revoking the above means of exaggerating the numbers after someone is vaccinated, showing how well the vaccines work!

And keep hiding your faces, because you can never be too careful. The self-abasement is necessary evidence of good discipline, your belief in “science” (wink), literal self-effacement in the name of community (and keeping the body politic cleansed of Trump-mad insurrectionist disease-spreading racist murderers!). We love you.